My most significant life changing experience
I feel that moving from New York to Virginia has been the one most significant life changing experience for the betterment of my future. Relocating to Richmond, V.A. has opened my eyes to promising opportunities.Virginia has became a place for me to further my education in pursuit of a stable career profession, and have a family.
I was born and raised in South Jamaica Queens, New York. A area of high violent crime and drug rates. Growing into the age of understanding my surroundings, I became aware that New York no longer seemed to be the place to call home because" home is where the heart is". This place that I loved as an child became a place where I felt that I would never raise my own. Criminals and drugs addicts you'll find on nearly every street corner, 24/hr stores that doorways are crowded night and day with hustlers. This every day scene disfigures the city's potential. The constant traffic and violence is like a chaotic jungle of unfamiliar faces . I didn't want my child when the time came, to have to walk around viewing those images as early in his life as I had.
Moving to Virgina has given me peace of mind. I am more concentrated looking forward to more great things to come. I do not have to worry about who's standing in front of my residence or neighborhood convenience store.I have a son now.I know that when he comes of age Virginia offers very little of these distractions that became a hindrance unto me and my education. The streets are much cleaner here and the people nicer,patient and more courteous.
Older and more determined than ever now, without the disadvantages that I experienced in New york . I finally got the opportunity to go back to school attending classes for my high school equivalency diploma. As it stands today I am aspiring to become an attorney in the field of criminal law.
I believe that if it were not for this significant life changing move to Virginia,that it would of taken me much longer to return to school.I also know that buy this move I have become a better person and mother capable of providing a positive future for my family and myself.
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1 comment:
Nana,
First, I like how you directly tell the reader in the first sentence what you'll be writing about. Another great thing is the thorough explanation of your main idea, establishing the background for the change in the second paragraph, then contrasting New York to Virginia in the third.
You also wrote some great individual lines like:
1. This every day scene disfigures the cities (sp?) potential.
2. The constant traffic and violence is like a chaotic jungle of unfamiliar faces.
What makes those lines mean more to me is that you then go on to compare them to Virginia, where people are "nicer, patient, and courteous," and the streets are cleaner.
Go back through the piece tonight and run spellcheck on it. Also do your own visual review for the same. Then repost it. It's already a thorough effort I must say though.
Next, try the essay question from Tuesday about your most positive personal attribute and post it to Shooting Star/Fallen Angel.
See you tonight,
Adam
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